Hey guys,
It really has been an insane couple of weeks for the world. I'm sure most anyone can empathize with my shock at how out of hand things have been getting and how surreal this all feels, I really never thought we'd have anything like this happen in my lifetime. You hear about pandemics and disease spreads on the news, but it's just not something you ever feel like is going to effect your life. When everything was first being talked about I really didn't think we'd get to state wide shut downs and job losses and overwhelmed hospital staff. I've officially been out of work for a week now, and am lucky enough to still live with my parents and not have to worry as much as others about the financial side of this, though that is definitely still a worry. It seems almost dreamlike to watch the news nowadays and to think that my job is probably not going to open back up for awhile, and even if they do, it's not likely to be easy to get to work with all the public transit that I rely on to get around shutting down early and not likely to be safe or super profitable with the hospital being so close and my job being client based. With everything so negative lately and stressful, I've definitely had a few bad mental health days this week. I wasn't sure about blogging again, considering that all my blogs in the past had been anon and didn't have nearly as much potential to reach people as what I write now does, but I miss it and I feel like we could all use hearing we aren't alone in our freaking out during these crazy times. On top of that knowledge though, I think it's important to not let the times totally beat you. While it's a day by day thing, I've been trying to find ways to turn a bad situation into something that can work in my favor, and on days I can't get anything done, I've just been working on making sure I'm okay. So without anymore rambling(maybe), here's a couple of things I've been doing to keep it together in quarantine. 1) Journaling. When I'm feeling a lot all at once, don't particularly want to talk but need to get something out, or just have a lot on my mind, journaling has always been a friend to me. It's something in therapy we talk about a lot, the need to express your thoughts and emotions. Now more than ever we all have a lot of concerns, overwhelming feelings, and things weighing on our minds whether those things be as complex as financial trouble or mental health issues or as simple as feeling lonely or restless. Journaling doesn't have to be an everyday thing, I know that when I tried journaling daily something about the task seemed more like a chore and it became more difficult to keep up with but lately I've been following some advice to journal when I feel like I need or want to and while I've only picked mine up a couple of times this week, it's been a big help sorting things out and helping my get out the things I needed to say. If you're not someone who's big on writing, maybe try alternative journaling, sometimes I feel a need to say something but I don't know how, so I'll write in my journal, rip out a page, take a picture and put it in there, or even just scribble on the paper. The point is to express what you need, it doesn't have to be with words. 2) Therapy. Sometimes journaling on your own or talking to friends and family isn't enough, and that's totally okay. A lot of places are offering therapy sessions over the phone or online that you can take advantage of, when I first started for some reason the thought of therapy over the phone gave me so much anxiety I almost didn't do it even though I'd already been seeing the same therapist in office every week. So if you're feeling anxious about the idea, you aren't alone. It took me making the decision that it was what was best for me to give it a try and now I kind of look forward to being able to take that time to find things to work on and make myself feel better then look back on my progress though the week. Remember that there's no bar on how much you need to be struggling to go to therapy, If you feel like you need the help, then you should get it. I'll link some resources at the bottom for anyone not sure where to look. 3) Keeping Connected. This step has been really necessary even for an introvert like me. Something I've really noticed lately is how wired people are to needing contact. It's part of why I read blogs like this and we go on social media and have all these ways to see people when we can't be near them. Utilize those! Facetime your friends, check up on each other. Text someone you haven't talked to in awhile. Go for a walk with your little sibling. Play with your animal in the yard/living room. The other night me and my friend had a Discord movie night and stayed up for ten straight hours just talking and watching Netflix together, social distancing does not mean the end of your social life. If you don't already have people to contact, try making some new friends online, odds are there're other people out there who want to talk. Make sure you're checking in on eachother and keeping around people who make you feel better with everything going on. If you live alone and can, considering seeing if you can stay with someone during the quarantine, quarantine buddies are important. 4) Take Lazy Days. If you're like me, prior to quarantine you cannot recall the last time you had time to slack off. Some would say this is a bad thing. I've been taking a couple hours out of the day to rest, play a game, hang out with my siblings, or just watch Netflix and eat junk food. It's actually increased my mood and productivity because I don't get as burnt out and tired anymore, I get to spend time with my family even if it's just bickering with my little brother, and I've actually gotten a lot of ideas from watching Netflix and playing games. Art breeds art. Remember that there's nothing wrong with taking some time to just do nothing, not all of your time has to be spent productively and it is totally okay to just play Stardew Valley and do nothing more the whole day. Go for it. 5) Keep Up Confidence. Now this might sound like a no brainer, but take it from someone who's been homeschooled for his entire life it is so ridiculously easy to not take a shower or not do your hair or stay in pajamas all day or even forget to brush your teeth if you're home all day, especially if you're experiencing any issues with depression. Don't get me wrong, spending all day in your pajamas rocks, but every textbook I've read about working from home says that if you do that all the time and you can actually make yourself depressed, unmotivated, and feel a lot less confident. My personal experiences know this to be very true. I always feel lazy and sad and even more restless after a couple days of just cycling through pajamas. Try taking a shower and then getting dressed just as you would any other day, do your hair, do your makeup, look just like you would if you were gonna go out, and change when you're actually winding down for bed. It sounds silly to get all dressed up not to go anywhere, but keeping in a routine will make you feel better. Take a couple of photos if you're worried about wasting an outfit. And it's totally okay to still have a few pajama days here and there. 6) Pick Up A New/Old Hobby. I have always wanted to get better at playing instruments, so you can bet this time will be taken advantage of and I will come out a master of the piano, guitar, and ukulele. .....Okay maybe not a master but I'll at least be trying. I've been using a lot of my time getting back into things like music, trying out new art mediums, editing photography and video, writing a new book (of course involving a quarantine because my books are literally just me coping with my anxiety and attempting to understand the universe), I use to love Polyvore which was a popular fashion set making website that I actually built a decent following on posting my style, characters, and poetry before it got shut down and I found an account I made on one of the sites that came after it and started actually using it as much as I use to use Polyvore(called Fashmates for anyone wondering). There's a lot of potential here for finding things you love and investing time in your passions, I want to start a career based on my passions but it doesn't even have to be that deep for you, I don't want to start a career off of playing Stardew Valley (well I kind of want to but that's probably not gonna happen) but I still play it because it makes me happy. Same with archery, I'm not trying to go pro but it's something I love doing. Do things you love just because they make you happy, it's so rewarding to do something because I want to but not because I have to. 7) Eat Healthy. I know I just mentioned eating junk food and playing video games, but especially in a time when keeping up your immune system is so important, I've been trying out a lot of new recipes. Now grant it the junk food is more of the thing that's new for me, being vegetarian AND a health nut, I've always been pretty healthy with what I eat but I have totally been guilty of forgetting to eat. I do it all the time actually especially if I'm working so in recent months before all this I was trying to make a point of making sure I was eating at least three times a day. For me I usually eat a couple smaller things through out the day rather than make three big meals, But at least I'm eating ya know? My family have pretty much all agreed what better time to fuck around with recipes and new stuff than during a quarantine? It always makes me feel better to know I've been eating well. 8) Attend Virtual Concerts And Events. While I am super introverted, I am an ambivert and a big event person. I thrive off that distant interaction of a bunch of people being together enjoying the same thing and being an entertainer it has been crazy weird for me to just not have been to a single event or be planning on going to any. So when I first heard about a virtual YungBlud concert I was all over it, I got all of my younger sisters to dress up and deck out the living room with me for it and we had a blast. Then I tried to get my open mic to go digital and found out the owners, badass women who will also be linked, were all over it already and I've been attending that. Plenty of bands and events have gone digital, even yoga classes have gone digital, so try and look for some. Even if you just google 'virtual concert' there are lists, and Bandsintown have been non stop updating with artists all over doing homebound concerts. If you can't find anything you like, we have the internet, throw a virtual event or have a concert yourself. Mental Health Resources: https://www.verywellmind.com/best-online-therapy-4691206 Or Contact your doctor or women's health center to see if they can set you up with phone therapy sessions. Disclaimer: I do not use any of the online therapy options, I use my local women's center and was prior to the outbreak, this article is the one I've linked simply because it lists all of the online resources I am semi familiar with or have known people they've helped. Online Open Mic: https://www.facebook.com/events/156519025587130/ Every Thursday night run by IAmLoveReigns and Keri Foster. Online Concerts: https://www.bandsintown.com/ I get emails from them about bands that I follow and would definitely recommend signing up for that if you're big on concerts. Fashion Website: https://www.fashmates.com Alternative Journal For Those Less Creative Or Who Don't Wanna Think Of Ideas: https://www.amazon.com/Wreck-This-Journal-Duct-Expanded/dp/0399162704 Thank you for listening, Stay healthy, Stay safe, Stay home.
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Black hearted petals hit ground like ash on a mountain
Sky not knowing that it should bleed care into the crevices Air too thin to swallow Nothing, something, nothing; else fits with a belly full of imposed, self afflicting and tear stains Swallow them whole before your brain, in it's rotting diseased state, counts the calories and denies you even that for the day Say you love them without meaning it and without meaning Roots curl away from the soil Insisted stalemate Suffering without regret But missing that one broken Letter I climb to pet the ash but roots tangle above the ground Caterpillars rave on about the stars; blowing smoke from their pipes Wonder if I could touch them Glass encased Suspended only to fall a little bit slower Badly habitual tasting of what never existed Take me with you too the valley where I can be whole again And safety exists Scales scream 'neath buzzing bees unaccustomed too peace but never too ignorance I'm afraid of hurting longer than I'm happy But that must be the ruby if happiness does not exist Here, Jim A tree whispered their name and I thought Of an ode to the universe it must have been because it sounded beautiful too me Loving something cold when it should be warm Unabashed tellings of petals sewn into the stem The grass eats those ones Alive but dead Nourishing in irony As skeletons trace kisses up the stem Tasting more than the flower ever had, and ever will again. |
AuthorNico Vazquez. Archives
September 2022
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