I didn't grab a cart cause I assumed I'd buy a chocolate bar and leave.
The same sea salt donate to the books charity chocolate bar I always buy I hate it here. Nobody gives a fuck about me, But I still feel like they're staring. I kind of wish they were 'cause now I look crazy, This is pretty crazy. Stores make me feel better Counting Numbers Counting something that isn't unhealthy or sad for once I think I have a cavity But I don't wanna think about how much it hurts to bite into the things that make me smile I should just grab a toothbrush while I'm here I should also buy vitamins Or do I really need to? My doctor says I'm vitamin deficient, at least, that's what it says on my chart But I can't tell if it's The default assumption since I'm vegetarian Or A code for my depression I take too many things I don't wanna need. I'm buying orange juice because my friend won't shut up about orange juice and thinking about it makes me think about him so maybe it's the one thing that'll make me smile. Lipstick makes me smile Or at least it'll make pouting sexy not sad So I go look at the lipsticks on the wall but I already ordered some last time I was sad so like, really I'm just kind of staring into space and wondering If anyone finds me sexy I think I do. I look at my phone because the great thing about having a phone is that It makes you think that maybe you can skip being Alone. Because I could call my friends But I know I won't call my friends I walk back to the freezer section looking at everything but what I came here for, Throwing an angel into my heart- I mean cart.. I mean heart Because maybe the one already in charge of that got a little lost I know it's hard to find No one can ever make it to the driveway with the ditches in the way. I always end up needing a cart And I still haven't got the candy bar because I was too busy going to get some more existentialism But fuck this store for putting it so neatly on it's shelves where I can reach I go and and grab the candy bar.
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I still have the things that you gave me
And somehow I kept that old shirt you left behind It's been seven years or so but I still think it smells like you There's nothing wrong with the shirt after being stuffed in my closet all this time, like I don't want it But oddly enough everyone thinks there's something wrong with me Which shouldn't be fair Because I'm a grown-up now, Because I refuse to talk to you Because blissfully, sometimes, you don't exist Maybe that someday Will stay with me Oneday Maybe I won't find pictures of you that look like a distant blueprint of a discarded home And my backpack Will just hold random shit Like my textbooks or A bottle of water cause my friend always forgets to bring himself one Normal shit Not broken skin and lost rain Maybe that stupid toy will just be a stupid toy and not An "I'm Sorry" letter Maybe I won't hold that one pillow like it's a ghost Grow up and buy a new one Maybe I won't wanna introduce myself to strangers And people who know us, Will look at me. Not through glass. Won't stick fragile labels on my boxes Maybe That someday, Will stick with me. I still have the things you left me And isn't it funny? How these things lasted longer Than you? How that pillow hugged me tighter than your name? How that Furby said "I Love You" more than your memory? How that picture looks more like me, than you? |
AuthorNico Vazquez. Archives
September 2022
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